Four items, 4 minutes right???? Wrong

I went to the supermarket on Friday to buy some laundry detergent, fabric softener sheets, Dawn dish soap, and Lysol cleaner. It's not often that I go in search of cleaning products, as I hate house cleaning with a strong passion, but that's for another day.

My goodness I was overwhelmed! Did I want Tide with bleach or the one for colors or just be for cold water? Should it have Downy or Febreze added, and that was after I decided whether to get it in liquid, powder or concentrated liquid. I pretty much ruled out the one for the high efficiency washers straight off the bat.

Then it was on to pick out the fabric softener sheets. I just wanted some plain original Bounce sheets. Luckily it only took me 6 minutes to locate it, because I was starting to feel inadequate.

Dawn would be easy....right....only if I knew if I wanted it with bleach alternatives, botanical, or if i wanted it to be ultra Dawn or Power Dissolver Dawn, Direct foam or with odor erasers. Ummm isn't that last one a given?

By this time I was so exhausted, that I went home. I'll tackle the Lysol cleaner next week.

for colored girls who have considered suicide/when the rainbow is enuf by Ntozake Shange

I had chance to see it in 1975. Each one of those women gave a powerful performance. Must have, because it's 30 years later, and I still feel the powerfulness the lady in green saying "Somebody done walked off with alla my stuff".

I was sitting here reading, writing and sipping tea, and my mind drifted to that sentence. It came out of no where, and surprised me as it came shouting into my mind

I guess if I had to write a sentence about blocks of life my life during the last year. The above one would sum it up.

Slowly, though I'm taking back my "stuff" and I'm letting the thief keep only what I don't want/need any more.

May....what a month!

This month has contained highs and lows, guess it's no different from any other month eh? I turned 45, sent 17 year old son off to his prom, celebrated Mother's Day, learned of the death of one of my younger brothers, watched with pride as my son graduated high school, and spent 2 days in the company of his father.

Turning 45, no different than any other day. Grocery shopped, house cleaned and cooked. The following week was prom, and the emotion of it took my breath away. As I watched my son and his date leave, I couldn't help but feel that she was stealing him away. Silly I know, but seeing him all dressed up, and escorting someone other than me to a big event was like a kick in the gut. I went upstairs and cried myself to sleep.

Mother's Day I learned that my brother Kenny died suddenly on Thursday. His mom called my mom. Not much detail was given as she was upset which is understandable. It took me well over a week to locate his phone number, but I think his mom may have returned to NY by then. I'm hoping she'll call his machine, get our messages and call us back.

Graduation was all that and then some. I saw my brother KD for the first time in almost 3 years, and the rest of the family arrived the following day. We had a wonderful reunion. JB's father and his family arrived, and all the anger and disappointment I felt just fizzled into nothinginess. I saw in his eyes, the realization that he had missed so much. I felt sorry for him, and yes, I did wish things had turned out different. There is nothing he can do which will enable him to live with the hugs, kisses, tears, joys, sorrow and frustration of raising his child. I wouldn't wish such a realization/regret on my worst enemy, which he is not. Unfortunately he can't say the same of himself.

Well it's back to work tomorrow, and to be honest, after 2 weeks of houseguests, I need the vacation.

Cee....Level

Another Wonderfully Wonderful Sunday

I'm always amazed at how God does what He does.

Yesterday morning I had the heater on in my car, and walked the girls in what I consider my "winter" jacket. In the afternoon, I had the a/c on, and last night, yep the heater again.

Today is just glorious! The sun is shining, it's 66 non-humid degrees, and I'm almost done packing and we don't move until Thursday. I'm sitting here enjoying my cup of tea, debating on whether or not to indulge in a second before waking the kidlet.

I'm also gong through the Crate and Barrel catalog. Just think, this time next month (God willing) I'll have my new bistro set, and will be writing from my 2nd floor balcony complete with plants, wind chimes and outdoor thermometer. Yes, an oasis right outside the living room.

Dinner tonight is steak, french fries (Kidlet is being drafted for peeling and cutting) and a huge salad consisting of 1/2 of the leftover veggies in the fridge. Very little cooking on my part. The steak is already marinating in the Catalina dressing with some spices and orange juice.

Even with all the "worries" I have, I am so blessed y'all, it never ceases to take my breath away.

Hoping you can say the same.

~~Cee~~
(yep gonna have that 2nd cup...just because I can)

Moving and other life changes

Moving is a hassle, but one that is necessary from time to time. I have almost finished packing and we don't leave until Thursday. I've purged, cleaned, and boxed up many things. My life pretty much.

I asked a question on a list I co-administer. "Since we have to work for a living, if you could change to the job of your dreams, what would it be? What is your reason for not doing it now....Money not withstanding"

So now I'm asking you.

Waiting to hear from you....

Cee...Level

It seems I have a problem

I was in a discussion with a good friend, and she told me I was too hard on people. Me? The pushover Queen of the Universe!!!!!!!!!!!!

It seems that I'm not of this world, because I believe people should keep their word. If you can't then I think notification that "stuff has happened" is in order.

When I first meet someone, I have no expectations of them, not that they speak, act, think, or treat me a certain way. It is by their representation of themselves that I begin to get a sense of their priorities, what makes them happy, and what makes 'em sad. Hence if you say and represent yourself to me as being trustworthy, a person of your word, etc., and you consistently are not, then we have no need of further interaction, be you man, woman, or undecided. I cannot abide people who shed their person's like snakes who shed skin.

Is that being too hard? Am I naive to believe that what I see is what I get?

~~Cee...Level~~