Mom, Dad & Charlie Jae!

Here's my Charlie Jae. She's 15 days old today. Already she's grown 2 inches and gained 1.5 lbs.

This Grandma business is wonderful! I'm so blessed!

Ms. Etta James - Stormy Weather

Hang up the phone!

Used to be if you saw a person walking outside who appeared to be talking to themselves we'd call them crazy and move to the other side of the street. Now it seems the only people who are not talking to themselves are sane.

What on earth to you have to say that can't wait until you get home?

Why don't you stop gossiping with your friends when you're out with your children and talk to them instead?

When you're navigating traffic, or trying to get into an awkward parking space, is the person on the phone giving you step by step instructions?

OK crazy people, time to hang up the phone!

Brothers

The greatest part of being who I am are my brothers. I've got lots of them. The three that are closest to me are Keith, Khidhr and Idrees. I love these men so much that it takes my breath away. They are nowhere close in age, Keith being 43, Khidhr 20, and the baby Idrees is 18. Here's a little about each of them:

• Keith aka KD: He and I grew up in the same house. We share the same Mom and Dad. We've always been close, and although our lives have gone in different directions, we keep each other grounded, and love unconditionally. KD is the idealist of my brothers. Unfortunately not everyone is as honest, has as much integrity or compassion as he does. Needless to say he's been through some twists and turns haven't been anticipated. I know he'll triumph against any adversity put in is path, he just has to believe it in his heart too!

• Khidhr: He and I share the same Dad. He's the more spiritual of our ragtag band of merrymakers. He's also a realist who takes whatever he's given and not only makes lemonade, but lemon pie, lemon cake, and lemon chicken. When I grow up I'd like to have his faith.

• Idrees: He's the baby, the last button on Abraham's jacket. He's our herbologist, botonist, and entomologist. When I first met him, he and Khidhr took me around the mountain they lived on in St. Croix and showed me the different bugs and plant life as well as explained the purpose of each.

As I've stated before I love my brothers They are definitely men who make Daddy proud. The each have his intelligence, sensitivity, looks, and sense of humor. Can't imagine my life without them. I truly hope you are blessed with brothers like mine.

Stay blessed,

Cee...level

Twenty Things to Remember for 2008

1. Faith is the ability to not panic.
2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you prayed, don't worry.
3. As a child of God, prayer is kinda like calling home every Day.
4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of Shape.
5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.
9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
10. Laugh every day -- it's like inner jogging.
11. The most important things in your home are the people.
12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open. Come on in.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still just as dead.
16. We do not remember days but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it; otherwise it's just hearsay.
18. Its all right to sit on your 'pity pot' every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle, it only makes progress when it sticks out it's neck. Your reputation. Your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting
20. Leave gentle fingerprints on the soul of another for the angels to read.

I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.

14 Years Ago Today

My brother's friends threw a baby shower for him. He was expecting his first child. There was food, friends, laughter and love for each other.

This was the last time I was to enjoy 'my world' being right. I can't believe I had no warning of the asteroid that was was about leave a crater in my heart the size of a million planets.

I went to bed not knowing that in 36 hours I would hear these words delivered over the phone:

"I don't know how to tell you other than to say it straight out: Your father was murdered"

Rest in Peace Daddy.

Falling in love all over again

Here's my grand daughter. She's smart, beautiful, and smart and beautiful. OK so I've fallen hard in grandma love. As a friend of mine said, I now understand why grandparents go "ga-ga" over their grandchildren.

I find her completely fascinating, she lifts her head, looks around and then yells so her parents scurry here and there to do her bidding. All I do is dance her around the room until they're ready. I'm then the heroine as I feed, burp and kiss her while her parents sigh with relief that their response time is faster, and their ear drums survived another feeding session.

Men's voices...or why I love to hear Uncle Tommy speak

Anthony Jones, Jr. My Uncle Tommy. Yeah a lot of folk call him Tony, but he's our Tommy. He's an extremely attractive man with a melodic voice that can thrill you down to your toes. He's extremely intelligent, has a great sense of humor, and rolls with the punches. Just more reasons why I love this man.

To borrow a line from Sophia of the Golden Girls..."Picture it, Brooklyn, 1966" We were all gathered at my grandparents apartment in Woodside for Christmas. The noise level well when there are 5 daughters, 4 husbands, and 5 children, lots of great food, and the knowledge we are blessed to be gathered together...you get my drift. My Uncle Tommy has a voice that is not as deep as Barry White's but still can be distinguished from everyone else's. Yep you guessed it, I had to marry him too! Life was getting complicated for me. If you recall I already had already betrothed myself to two other men, now a third! What was a five year old to do?

As I got older and spent more time around him, I began to admire him for his ability to live life on his own terms, and opinions be damned. I wondered why is it that men seemed to be able to do that, and women were in the position of accepting and conforming. It was a word that to this day holds so much power. CHOICE! My Uncle Tommy showed me that we make choices in this life and although you may make the wrong one at times, to accept and conform when one really doesn't want to, is a choice.

Here it is 40 years later, and I'm still in love with his voice, and I still adore him. If anyone were to suggest that my early years did not shape my later years, I'd say bull! My husband to be is a tall, dark caramel brother, who has great smelling, soft facial hair laughing eyes, a great sense of humor, the intelligence of all my "husbands" and my Uncle Tommy's voice.

Even if the above description doesn't fit my future husband at all ...wherever he may be, my Uncle Tommy showing me that life is all about choice, will ensure that I choose the right one for me.

God bless,

Cee...Level

The day my son fell in love...for all eternity

Photos of my baby holding his baby for the first time. It was truly a beautiful sight to see. He's barely left her side since.

Be blessed,

Cee...Level

Little Mo-Mo...or my Grand Daughter is here!!

Yesterday at 1:25:13pm CST I became a Grandma. If you don't believe me, ask any of the tellers at two credit unions. My Girlfriends and a host of other people I encountered yesterday. LOL.

I've never been present when a new life enters the world. Well aside from when my beautiful baby boy came, and to be honest, I wanted to be any where else in the world at that moment.

Anyone who has ever watched their grandchild enter the world, and then held it for the first time, definitely knows the elation and the overwhelming feeling of love that takes your breath away. When I looked down into that perfect little face, it was liked being sucked into a vacuum. There was no sound other than that of her breathing, nothing else existed in the world for me except her. My heart which was already filled love, swelled to even greater proportions.

It's like the love you have for your newborn child but more intense, because it's your child's child.

While her maternal grandmother held her I looked over her shoulder and started speaking softly to her. This 8lb 11 oz, 20 inch miracle of life turned towards the sound of my voice, opened her eyes, and as I gazed into them, my heart went "thunk". I heard and felt it. It was as soft as the sound of rain on grass, and shook my world like a 10 point earthquake.

CJ, as I promised your Daddy when I held him. You will know God and appreciate the miracles that only He can do. I'll love you unconditionally until beyond eternity, tell you jokes that make you groan, tell you every day how much I love you, hug and kiss you every opportunity I get, and although we will clash from time to time, it's the action that I either don't understand or don't like, you I adore.

Cee....no where near Level.

I'm seriously thinking of investing in a MAC

Hence the reason I try to never say "never". My HP desktop has given me so much trouble these past 3 months, that I'm truly ready to sell it on ebay to anyone for a song at this point. Mind you I've not yet had it for a year

Now I'm a PC woman deep in my heart, but I have to tell you I don't hear half as many complaints about MAC as I do the PC.

The price is the major inhibitor right now. Also learning a new way of computing after umpteen years of what I'm used to is also a bit daunting. Eh maybe I'll just take my laptop over to Austin and beg my friend Marsha to fix it for me. Of course, there's Teresa in San Antonio...hmmm, she loves to cook..hmm.I could let her cook for me in between fixing my pc. Of course I'd return the favor and eat everything off my plate and load the dishwasher LOL. then I could drive her over to Austin and we can have lunch with Marsha instead. I don't think Marsha likes to cook as much as Teresa does, so I wouldn't want to put her on the spot.

Whew, moment of insanity over. Leave it to my Girlfriend to assist in resolving my issues. Now, I just have to call her to tell her the good news about not buying a MAC and let her know I'm coming over.

Be blessed,
Cee..level

Gone but always in my heart

Every step I take, every move I make, Every single day, every time I pray, Ill be missing you
- Puff Daddy

These are the family members who have touched my life and made it so much better. Something they've said or done, a smell, smile or touch triggers memories of them at the oddest times. Luckily I grew up knowing that family is truly a blessing (even when they're working that last nerve), and I thank God for blessing my life with them for the briefest of moments.

• Agnes Stevenson, paternal great grandmother - Nana
• Emily Smith Kellman, paternal grandma - Grandma Nana
• Joseph Kellman, paternal grandpa - Grandpa Joe
• El Hajj Khaalid Abdul Tariq - Daddy
• Kenneth Morris, one of my brothers - Little Kenny
• Leonard Parker, paternal uncle - Uncle Lenny

• Catherine Huggins Whitten, maternal grandma - Granma
• Arnold S. Whitten, maternal grandma- Granpa
• Catherine Michael, maternal aunt - Aunt Bob Do
• Kenneth Hyde, cousin on Granpa's side
• Nellie Battle, grandpa's sister, my great aunt - Aunt Nellie
• Aunt Pearl, grandpa's sister, my great aunt - Aunt Pearl
• Clora Huggins Williams, grandma's sister, my great aunt - Aunt Sweetie
• Eva Huggins Jones, grandma's sister, my great aunt - Aunt Eva
• Anthony A Jones, maternal first cousin - Mac
• Leslie Ann Jones, maternal first cousin Les the Mess
• Andrew Smith, maternal uncle, Uncle Prince
• Eva Smith - Uncle Prince's wife - Aunt Eva
• James Smith, materrnal uncle, Uncle Brother
• Johnny Smith , maternal first cousin- Johnny

• Nathaniel Michael - Uncle Nat
• Gwendolyn Michael - Aunt Gwenie

Family, the next generation

Lauryn, Nicky, Jordan, Nimah, Trevor

I can't believe it! My cousins and I are no longer the "kids" in the family. We are our parents, and our children are the kids. Our parents are the elders. Time does indeed march on, whether we are paying attention or not.

As you know from my earlier post, I'm on the verge of becoming a grandmother. I'm so excited. I harass AES daily about her holding my baby hostage in her womb. It's a joke in our family because the due date keeps changing. Every time she goes for a doctor visit they tell her she's 37.5 weeks pregnant. Even she's beginning to believe CJ will arrive sometime in 2012. I feel for the kid, as she's been cramping off and on for the last month. She is a good sport about it though, not complaining, and still keeping a sense of humor about it. I think that will end if next Saturday, (the latest due date), there's no baby in her arms. Can't say I blame her.

If I must say so myself, I did a good job raising JB. He's a responsible, contributing member of society who counts God, family and high moral values among as "given" when talking about his life. He also believes it's everyone's duty to vote, help people in need, and play video games on Saturdays....after cartoons of course.

They make a good pair, JB and AES, CJ will have the best parents in the world, coached of course by me!

God bless,

Cee...level

My Doglets

Princess
-aka-
Princess Num-Nums

Pooh Bear -aka- the Bear

Just wanted to show you a picture of my girls.

My First Crush...or My Daddy & My Uncle...the reason I love Black Men

I clearly remember the day I decided to get married. The problem was who to marry? Uncle Roger or Daddy? Big decision for a four year old.

El Hajj Khaalid Abdul Tariq (Daddy) was a man with smooth ebony colored skin. He wore his hair in an afro, and had a face full of soft, sweet smelling almost blue black hair, it enhanced his beautiful smile. He wasn't tall...maybe 5 ft, 9, and was slight of built. He called me Baby, and loved me unconditionally. Constantly encouraging me to explore the world and all it has to offer, he taught me how to read and was PTA President at my school.

Roger Francis Webb, Jr, (Uncle Roger) is a satiny caramel color. He's bald a cue ball, and clean shaven. He too has a beautiful smile, and his brown eyes were always full of fun. He stands 2-3 inches over 6 feet, and has the brand of the Omega Psi Phy fraternity. He taught me how to blow bubbles with my gum.

Both men were extremely intelligent, well read, compassionate, giving and charming. Both would carry me in their strong arms and tickle me until I couldn't breathe. Both would push me on the swing for what seemed like hours. Both would buy me ice cream even if it did ruin my appetite for dinner. Daddy took me on my first date. Uncle Roger on my first motorcycle ride. Daddy let me look at blood specimens at the hematology lab, and showed me my first ever computer. (It took up the entire room.) Uncle Roger let me slide down the pole at the firehouse, and taught me all about fire engines.


The day I decided to marry, we were at the park and they were teaching me to play the card game war. They never talked down to me, and always treated me like the princess I am. I remember leaning back against my Daddy, and looking up at Uncle Roger, as they laughed at something they were talking about. The sound of their laughter, the smell of my Daddy's beard, and Uncle Roger standing tall to stretch convinced me I had made the right decision. I would marry them both...as soon as I turned 5.

Daddy has since passed on, Uncle Roger has moved on. I don't think I ever told either one of them about that day. It floats to the top of my memory from time to time. A memory more precious than any jewel in the world.

I'm still waiting for that dark/caramel skinned Black man with great smelling facial hair, laughing eyes and the knowledge that I am someone to be treasured. He's in for a big surprise.

God Bless,

~~Cee...Level~~

Happy 2008

Like quite a few people I've mapped out a few changes needed in my lifestyle. I'm not calling them resolutions, because that immediately means I'm going to ignore them. Instead I'm labeling them, quality of life improvement suggestions.

After speaking with several close girlfriends, I see that my suggestions for myself are similar to their own:

• weight loss - general physical health
  
• financial management
• healthy emotional attachments
  
• mental stability (well what would pass for stability in my family)
• Spiritual growth
• Shakin the haters off
  

I guess what I'm seeking most of all in my life is balance. Not just that catch phrase employers use "work/life balance", but real harmony of all the components of my life.

In an effort to obtain some of this harmony, I'm taking advantage of all the technology out there instead of shunning it, or (as I've been in the past), acquiring it and doing a half assed job of using it.

My Treo, Quicken, Turbo Tax, Outlook and my IPod have all be drafted in the war against complacency. I learned that the biggest battle is not in calling up the troops, but setting up the process. Normally it wouldn't be an issue, but having to reinstall all the software on my laptop last week after a major computer glitch, has left me information free. My penance for not backing up my data once again, is recreating it. As I've heard told, those who do not learn from history, are doomed to repeat it

On another front, my just turned 19 last month year old son and his 19 year old girlfriend are expecting their first child. They've moved in together in preparation for the event, and hopefully what will become a life long loving commitment to each other for them. Yes, I do read Harlequin Romances. What more can I say? Crying myself to sleep for a week didn't stop the baby from developing. Life is what it is and once I realized that my choices are not their choices, and more over IT'S NOT MY FAULT, I was able to move on. I pray my granddaughter will be a healthy, happy well adjusted little girl.

Striking balance in this area of my life means closing my checkbook, and reclaiming my credit cards. After stepping in many times to save them from one financial mistake after the other for the past two months, they are no closer to managing money responsibly. Instead my savings have taken a huge hit from a WMD, and my sleep pattern was once again disrupted. I've survived a few incidents of electricity, water, phones, being cut off. Guess it's their turn to learn the hard way.

Lots more to talk about but it's time to take my doglets for an outing, stop off at the store for rice, and apply Dark and Lovely #377 to the roots of my beautiful locs...again.

Go out and make this year your best ever,

Be well,

Cee...Level