This month has contained highs and lows, guess it's no different from any other month eh? I turned 45, sent 17 year old son off to his prom, celebrated Mother's Day, learned of the death of one of my younger brothers, watched with pride as my son graduated high school, and spent 2 days in the company of his father.
Turning 45, no different than any other day. Grocery shopped, house cleaned and cooked. The following week was prom, and the emotion of it took my breath away. As I watched my son and his date leave, I couldn't help but feel that she was stealing him away. Silly I know, but seeing him all dressed up, and escorting someone other than me to a big event was like a kick in the gut. I went upstairs and cried myself to sleep.
Mother's Day I learned that my brother Kenny died suddenly on Thursday. His mom called my mom. Not much detail was given as she was upset which is understandable. It took me well over a week to locate his phone number, but I think his mom may have returned to NY by then. I'm hoping she'll call his machine, get our messages and call us back.
Graduation was all that and then some. I saw my brother KD for the first time in almost 3 years, and the rest of the family arrived the following day. We had a wonderful reunion. JB's father and his family arrived, and all the anger and disappointment I felt just fizzled into nothinginess. I saw in his eyes, the realization that he had missed so much. I felt sorry for him, and yes, I did wish things had turned out different. There is nothing he can do which will enable him to live with the hugs, kisses, tears, joys, sorrow and frustration of raising his child. I wouldn't wish such a realization/regret on my worst enemy, which he is not. Unfortunately he can't say the same of himself.
Well it's back to work tomorrow, and to be honest, after 2 weeks of houseguests, I need the vacation.
Cee....Level
Turning 45, no different than any other day. Grocery shopped, house cleaned and cooked. The following week was prom, and the emotion of it took my breath away. As I watched my son and his date leave, I couldn't help but feel that she was stealing him away. Silly I know, but seeing him all dressed up, and escorting someone other than me to a big event was like a kick in the gut. I went upstairs and cried myself to sleep.
Mother's Day I learned that my brother Kenny died suddenly on Thursday. His mom called my mom. Not much detail was given as she was upset which is understandable. It took me well over a week to locate his phone number, but I think his mom may have returned to NY by then. I'm hoping she'll call his machine, get our messages and call us back.
Graduation was all that and then some. I saw my brother KD for the first time in almost 3 years, and the rest of the family arrived the following day. We had a wonderful reunion. JB's father and his family arrived, and all the anger and disappointment I felt just fizzled into nothinginess. I saw in his eyes, the realization that he had missed so much. I felt sorry for him, and yes, I did wish things had turned out different. There is nothing he can do which will enable him to live with the hugs, kisses, tears, joys, sorrow and frustration of raising his child. I wouldn't wish such a realization/regret on my worst enemy, which he is not. Unfortunately he can't say the same of himself.
Well it's back to work tomorrow, and to be honest, after 2 weeks of houseguests, I need the vacation.
Cee....Level
